Before All Else
by Luminera
Summary: Slash Anakin struggles with with his love for Padme and his loyalty to the Jedi. Obi-Wan must reveal his own past in order to teach his student about sacrafices.
1. Past Love

Summary: Anakin struggles with with his love for Padme and his loyalty to the Jedi. Obi-Wan must reveal his own past in order to teach his student about sacrafices.

Author's Notes: This story is set when Anakin is around 20 years old. AOTC never happened and Anakin has not turned. And as always any feedback would be helpful.

Warning: Slash This story involves a committed relationship between two adult men. If this offends you then please go elsewhere. Otherwise read on.

* * *

Obi-Wan closed his eyes as the steam from the pasta he was draining formed a wet, hot cloud around his head. He was attempting to prepare a homemade meal for his Padawan as they had been surviving off of field rations for the past few months because of several consecutive missions. He feared Anakin may have forgotten what real food tastes like. He seldom cooked when they were in the temple and they more often than not ate in the temple's cafeteria. It wasn't that he was a bad cook, quite the contrary, Qui-Gon use to rave over his meals. He just didn't seem to have the time or the desire to cook anymore. Anakin deserved it, though, he had been pushing the boy hard lately and the relentless missions were starting to tire him out.  
  
He heard laughter coming from behind the closed door of his Padawan's room. He smiled lightly. Anakin had been on the vid-phone with Padme for about an hour now. They were becoming incredibly close and it worried him a bit. Romantic attachments to people outside of the Order could be complicated and even dangerous for a Jedi. While he often warned his Padawan of the danger of such attachments, he was incapable of completely discouraging the relationship. It had not yet become a significant issue in terms of his training, but Anakin tended to follow his emotions rather than logic and eventually his feelings for Padme would cloud his judgment. Obi-Wan had been waiting for the past year for Anakin to do something foolish in the name of love; it was inevitable.  
  
On a recent mission he had overheard Anakin speaking with Padme on the ship's comm unit. Anakin had thought he was asleep and was speaking in low tones. Obi-Wan was awake and, though he knew it was wrong, listened to their conversation. He tried to excuse the eavesdropping by telling himself that as the boy's Master he needed to make sure that the relationship would not impair his training. In the end, he was glad he listened. They were talking about marriage. Anakin, it seemed, for some time now had been attempting to convince Padme that marriage was the best option for them. Padme was reluctant, but the tone in her voice revealed that she would soon give in. After the conversation ended, with Padme promising to seriously consider the proposal, Obi-Wan stayed awake for hours. He knew now that he could not continue to get away with the casual reminders he had been giving his Padawan about loyalty to the order. He needed to have a serious talk with the boy before he did anything rash.  
  
He finished straining the pasta and poured it into a large bowl. He poured his tomato sauce onto the pasta and topped it with some cheese. He brought the bowl to the table and eyed the table carefully to make sure he had not forgotten anything. He had set out salads and poured a couple glasses of pluma juice, Anakin's favorite. Once he was satisfied that everything was in its placed he walked over to his padawan's door and knocked. He heard more laughter and Anakin yelled for him to enter the room.  
  
Anakin was leaning back precariously in his desk chair smiling broadly at Padme whose face was practically beaming on the vid-screen.  
  
"Hey Master."  
  
Anakin turned to smile at him and then immediately turned back to the vid- screen. Obi-Wan moved into view of the screen.  
  
"Hello Padme. I hope my Padawan isn't keeping you from anything important," he said as he tugged on Anakin's Padawan braid.  
  
"Of course not Master Kenobi."  
  
"Good," he turned to Anakin, "I've prepared dinner Anakin..." He stopped at the stunned looked on his padawan's face.  
  
"It's not that surprising is it?"  
  
"Master, I don't think I've ever seen you cook anything in my life. Should I be worried?"  
  
"Of course not Anakin, I'm a fabulous cook."  
  
"I don't think I'm convinced."  
  
"Well, if you're done catching up with Padme you can come eat and decide for yourself."  
  
Obi-Wan tenderly ruffled Anakin's hair and bid goodbye to Padme. He walked back to the kitchen and sat at the table.  
  
Anakin walked in after only a few moments and stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
"You're not dying are you?" said Anakin.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well...people usually give bad news over good food to soften the blow."  
  
Obi-Wan laughed. "I am fine padawan. I assure you. Now sit and eat before it gets cold."

* * *

Anakin dropped his napkin in his plate and leaned back heavily in his chair.  
  
"That was amazing Master." He sighed deeply and closed his eyes.  
  
"Don't get too relaxed Padawan. I cook, you clean." Obi-Wan laughed at the pout that formed on Anakin's face.  
  
"Come sit with me in the common room when you're done. I need to talk to you about something."  
  
Anakin gave him a questioning look, but refrained from asking any questions. He knew from experience that he would get no answers until his Master was ready.

* * *

Obi-Wan was sitting on the couch with a book of his favorite poetry when Anakin walked into the room. Anakin sat down on the couch next to him and waited for his Master acknowledge him.  
  
Obi-Wan put down the book and looked at his Padawan carefully. He had grown up to be an amazing young man. He was compassionate and courteous. His skill with a lightsabre would soon surpass Obi-Wan's. But Anakin had his flaws and still had a ways to go in his training. He was passionate to the point that his actions were often foolish and misguided. He had a tendency to act before thinking, which drove Obi-Wan to near insanity. His temper was easily ignited and he had trouble extinguishing the flames. Anakin had a long way to go before he would be ready for the trials. Obi- Wan just hoped that he was capable of being the Master that Anakin needed.  
  
"Anakin, I need to speak to you about something very important." He looked into Anakin's eyes to make sure he had the boy's attention. "I know this is not something you want to hear and you will most likely become angry with me, but it needs to be discussed."  
  
"I realize that you and Padme have become very close and I am truly happy for you Padawan. But as your Master I cannot allow this relationship to jeopardize your training." Anakin opened his mouth to respond, but Obi-Wan held up his hand to stop him.  
  
"Don't tell me that it won't, because I know that is not true. I have reminded you of your loyalty to the Order before and you have assured me that your dedication has not wavered. But..." Obi-Wan took a deep breath. He knew that Anakin would not respond nicely to the eavesdropping, but it had to be discussed.  
  
"Anakin, on the transport to Decrete I overheard your conversation with Padme."  
  
"Master!" Anakin shouted in outrage and Obi-Wan could feel the boy's temper begin to rise.  
  
"Listen Padawan," Obi-Wan said sharply, "I will not be interrupted." Anakin attempted to calm himself as Obi-Wan continued.  
  
"I understand that it was an invasion of your privacy Padawan and for that I am sorry. But I do not regret it. I had assumed that you were handling the relationship carefully, as I had instructed, but that does not seem to be the case. I realize that you are in love Anakin, but marriage is simply not a possibility for you at this moment and you must accept that. Your loyalty is to the Order and your training above all other things Padawan and I can no longer allow you to neglect these loyalties. We will not be visiting Naboo again for the remainder of your training and you are not allowed to meet with Padme until you are knighted. I realize that she is your friend and I do not want you to completely loose contact with her. So you may call her, but I ask that you set up a time once a ten-day to contact her. I do not want you on the vid every night. I will trust you to comply with this Anakin. I understand that your love for her runs deep, but as your Master I must make sure that you are completely focused on your training. Do you understand Padawan?" He regarded the boy carefully and hoped he was doing the right thing.  
  
Anakin stood up and walked to the other side of the room. He looked out of the window at the Coruscant landscape and tried to calm his temper.  
  
"Come back here Padawan." Obi-Wan said firmly.  
  
Anakin turned around automatically at the tone in Obi-Wan's voice. After years of responding to that tone it was an involuntary motion. He walked back the couch and stood in front of Obi-Wan.  
  
"I asked you a question Anakin." He said a little more quietly.  
  
Anakin breathed deeply through his nose, visibility trying to calm himself. "I understand, Master."  
  
"Do you? Or are you simply trying to make me drop the subject? I know you Anakin, your passion runs deep, especially for Padme. I know it will be hard, but you must accept that this is how it must be." Obi-Wan hated the pain that this would cause his Padawan, but it was unavoidable.  
  
"What do you know about it?" Anakin said slowly with barely controlled venom in his voice. "You lecture me on loyalty and the danger of love and you don't know anything about it. You and your calm Jedi demeanor. How could you know about my passion? I have never seen you become passionate about anything. Just because your life has been void of love doesn't mean you can suck the love out of mine. I refuse to be turned into some lifeless droid like you." Anakin stood there fuming. He realized that he'd gone way too far, but he was beyond angry. How dare Obi-Wan preach to him about the dangers of love when it was the absence of love that could destroy him. His Master knew nothing about his feelings and had no right to pretend that he understood what Anakin was going through.  
  
"Anakin, sit down." Obi-Wan was near the edge of his control. He could not allow his Padawan to show such insolence. But he understood what Anakin was saying and he feared what he may need to reveal in order to explain the seriousness of the situation.  
  
Anakin remained standing and simply stared down at his Master. Obi-Wan had finally lost his patience as long buried emotions came to the surface.  
  
"Padawan! Sit down NOW!" Anakin responded immediately, frightened by the sudden burst of anger in his usually collected Master.  
  
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and attempted to gather together his raging emotions. He drew on the Force to give him the strength and the patience to deal with his Padawan.  
  
Anakin watched his Master carefully. He was motionless and Anakin was beginning to believe that he had imagined the previous outburst. His Master's shields were up high and Anakin could barely feel the man sitting before him. But he noticed a slight twitch in Obi-Wan's face that revealed his emotions. He knew that he would be punished for his outburst, but it was worth it. Obi-Wan needed to face the fact that he could never really understand Anakin's situation.  
  
Obi-Wan opened his eyes and regarded his Padawan. "You think I don't understand your situation Padawan." Anakin's eyes widened and he checked his shields.  
  
"If you would learn to find calm Anakin, your shields would not slip from your control." Anakin blushed slightly and looked away, embarrassed at being told such a rudimentary lesson.  
  
"There is no need to feel ashamed, we are always learning." Anakin turned back to Obi-Wan and closed his eyes in an attempt to calm his emotions as Obi-Wan had. After a few minutes he resurfaced and felt much more in control.  
  
"Thank you Master." He said quietly. The shame of the initiate level lesson still stung, but he was thankful that his Master gave him the time to gather himself.  
  
"Good, now Anakin explain to me, calmly, why you think I do not understand your situation."  
  
"Master you've never been in love, you don't know what it's like. How do you know that removing Padme from my life would not be more detrimental than allowing her to stay in it? I understand that my loyalty must be with the Order first, but I find it difficult to be loyal to an order that denies love." Anakin hoped that his Master understood what he was saying and did not disregard his emotions as petty.  
  
"The Order does not deny its members love Anakin. In some cases it is encouraged. You know there are many paired Jedi that have had long and successful relationships that often enhance their ability to serve the Order. But you must realize that a committed relationship for a Padawan is taken very seriously especially if the relationship involves someone outside of the Order. I do not wish to deny you this love, but I cannot allow your commitment to Padme to overshadow your commitment to the Jedi. Listen to me carefully Anakin. We are Jedi above all other things and if you cannot accept that then you cannot continue your training."  
  
There was complete silence in their quarters and Anakin contemplated what his Master had just said. He knew that he was a Jedi before all else, but it was difficult for him to accept that he must deny Padme, even if it was only until his knighting. Yet he was meant to be a Jedi. He could not deny that fact.  
  
"It is hard, Master. I know I am a Jedi above all else, but its more difficult than you will ever know." His Master would never understand the pain this was causing him. He would do his duty. He now realized that there was little else he could do, but it hurt so very badly.  
  
Obi-Wan smiled sadly. "I may surprise you Anakin."  
  
"You rarely surprise me Master." His Master was as predictable as the sun.  
  
"I cooked that wonderful meal for you did I not."  
  
Anakin laughed slightly. "Yea....you did. That was quite shocking."  
  
"Anakin why don't you go make us some tea." Obi-Wan needed something else to soothe his soul if he was going to share his past with Anakin.  
  
Anakin looked at him oddly and then went to make the tea. Obi-Wan stayed seated and tried to control his desire to run out of the room and away from this conversation. He wasn't sure he could keep himself together, but Anakin needed to know the severity of the sacrifices that a Jedi must make for the Order.  
  
Anakin returned with to cups of steaming tea and gave one to his Master. He settled back down on the couch and they sipped their tea in silence. Anakin was confused about his Master's behavior. He seemed to be anxious about something. It made him fearful because he had never seen Obi-Wan nervous about any situation.  
  
Obi-Wan put his cup on the coffee table and tried to clear his mind. "Would it surprise you Anakin if I told you that I am very much in love with someone?"  
  
Anakin looked at him, startled. "I would find it hard to believe that you've managed to conceal a relationship from me for the entire time I've been your Padawan." It came out harsher than Anakin intended. He felt like his Master was toying with him. He doubted that there was any relationship, and if their was one, he felt betrayed that his Master would not even tell him about the person. "Have you been hiding her from me all this time?"  
  
"No Anakin this relationship occurred before you were my Padawan."  
  
"When you were a padawan?" This surprised Anakin, though he tried not to give his Master the satisfaction showing it. "Were you forced to end the relationship?" He could sense a lesson coming. He doubted that Obi-Wan's relationship could compare to his with Padme, but he would attempt to learn something from his Master's experience.  
  
"No Padawan...He died." This time Anakin could not keep the shock from appearing on his face. He never knew that his Master was attracted to men. And he definitely never knew that he had experienced such a loss.  
  
"I'm sorry Master." He could clearly see the pain etched on Obi-Wan's face. "How did he die?"  
  
A choked laugh came from Obi-Wan's throat and a tear slipped down his cheek. Anakin had never seen his Master so exposed and vulnerable. His pain cut through Anakin's heart sharply and the Padawan was shocked at how deep the hurt ran.  
  
"You know how he died Anakin." Obi-Wan looked away. He could not meet Anakin's gaze. He couldn't let his Padawan see how empty he was inside. "The whole temple knows how he died. It's taught in temple courses for Force sake." He finally gathered the courage to turn back to Anakin and meet his eyes. "He died for the Order at the hands of a Sith."

TBC


	2. Lost Hero

Summary: Anakin struggles with with his love for Padme and his loyalty to the Jedi. Obi-Wan must reveal his own past in order to teach his student about sacrafices.

Author's Notes: This story is set when Anakin is around 20 years old. AOTC never happened and Anakin has not turned. And as always any feedback would be helpful.

Warning: Slash This story involves a committed relationship between two adult men. If this offends you then please go elsewhere. Otherwise read on.

Other Comments: I hadn't really planned to continue this story, but one reviewer seemed desperate for more so here it is. And thanks to everyone who reviewed!!!! It definately pushed me to write more.

* * *

Anakin sat deathly still with a look of complete shock on his face. He was attempting to control his reaction, but failing miserably. Obi-Wan took the moment to gather his emotions and regain some control. He had thought that after all these years he would be able to speak of Qui-Gon's death without falling apart. He feared that the brutal pain that consumed him when he spoke of his Master would never leave him.  
  
Anakin seemed to be coming out of his sudden state of shock and attempted to gather his buzzing thoughts.  
  
"Master, I don't...I mean..." he seemed to be searching for something, anything to say that would reorient him to the world he knew. "I never knew." He sighed and looked into his Master's eyes as if they held the answers to all the questions in the world.  
  
"I never wanted you to know Anakin. I didn't want to taint your memory of Qui-Gon."  
  
Anakin's brow creased. "I don't understand Master. How could this taint my memory of him?...He didn't force you did he?" Anakin looked worried and his voice held a harsh edge of anger. His eyes revealed a slight spark of hatred that made Obi-Wan's whole body shiver as if he were doused with a bucket of ice. The sensation passed quickly, but it worried Obi-Wan more than he cared to admit. He hesitated for a second before he responded to Anakin's question.  
  
"No, he never forced me. Ever. But...it was complicated." Obi-Wan looked out the window at the cityscape. "I never told you about our relationship because I did not want you to loose your only hero."  
  
"Master, he wasn't..."  
  
Obi-Wan turned he attention back to his Padawan. "Don't Anakin, we both know that I was never a hero to you." The words came out sharply and while they were the truth, Obi-Wan almost immediately regretted speaking them out loud. It made their rocky relationship and his inadequacies as a teacher seem too real and too permanent. All Padawans developed at least a small amount of hero-worship towards their Masters. It was an inevitable result of the bond and the close relationship. Anakin had never harbored such delusions about Obi-Wan.  
  
"I knew you worshiped him. I did too when I first met him as a child. How could you not. He's the quintessential rogue, defiant and beautiful." Obi- Wan smiled slightly at the superhero image of his lover. His smile faltered slightly. "Invincible...or so I thought. But at a young age I realized that though he was one of greatest Jedi to ever live, he was still just a man with faults and insecurities like everyone else. And when he didn't take me as a Padawan and I was sent to the AgriCorps I realized that no one could live up to such an idealistic image."  
  
"I never knew you were sent to AgriCorps." Anakin's voice seemed lost and confused.  
  
"Yes, well it's not something I take great pride in. I nearly killed myself trying to prove my worth to him. The struggle was worth it in the end though. I wanted nothing more than to be his Padawan." Obi-Wan realized that he was taking the conversation into dangerous territory. He looked at Anakin and knew that there was no way that they could continue as Master and Apprentice if they did not confront the issues that they had so thoroughly avoided all these years.  
  
"I image you felt the same way Anakin."  
  
"He freed me from slavery Master. I trusted and respected him."  
  
"I think it was more than that. You reacted strongly to his death." Obi- Wan paused. "You blamed me for killing your hero."  
  
Anakin averted his eyes from his Master and began to pick at a string of thread on his tunic.  
  
"You said it yourself. Master Jinn was killed by a Sith." Anakin stood up and began to pick up their empty tea mugs.  
  
Obi-Wan put out his hand to stop Anakin from his attempt to escape the conversation.  
  
"The dishes can wait Padawan."  
  
Anakin sat back down and once again began to pick at the loose thread on his tunic. He never wanted to have this conversation with his Master. There was no use in reexamining past emotions. He tried to think of a way to get out of this situation, but he could think of no out and he could see the raw determination in his Master's eyes.  
  
"I know that Master Jinn was killed by a Sith but...look at me Padawan." Anakin looked up to meet his Master's eyes. "But you thought I was supposed to save him." Obi-Wan said this softly but clearly. "As his Padawan it was my job to keep him safe and I failed. I couldn't save him, but if you had been his Padawan you would have saved him. You would have been better than me. And when he died and I took you as my Padawan you resented me, even hated me a bit for killing your hero and attempting to take his place." Anakin opened his mouth to protest, but Obi-Wan held up his hand to stop him. "I will never be your hero because from the moment we formed the training bond I was simply a pathetic yet necessary replacement for your _real _Master. I knew you felt this way Anakin. You were not hard to read and I was not the incompetent Jedi you thought me to be."  
  
"I never thought you were an incompetent Jedi, Master." Anakin spoke sternly as if he were trying to convince himself of the validity of his words.  
  
Obi-Wan smiled sadly. "You thought you knew me so well, that with your untrained skills you had discovered my innermost thoughts. You thought that my uneasiness with you stemmed from jealousy because Master Jinn chose you over me. You assumed I hated you and did not think much past that point...I did not approach you because I assumed that we would work it out simply by getting to know each other. Eventually you grew to respect me and as your training progressed it allowed you understand that as a Jedi I could harbor no hatred for you. But I was never your hero, not even close. I had many reasons for not telling you about my relationship with Qui-Gon, but first among them was that I did not want you to loose your connection with Qui-Gon. I did not want you to think that I was attempting to prove that he loved me more. You only had one hero Anakin, I had no desire to steal him from you."  
  
Anakin was quiet as he tried to understand what his Master had just told him. He never knew that Obi-Wan knew about his emotions during those first few years. How he had wished that Obi-Wan had died instead of Qui-Gon so that he could have the Master he was meant to have. He thought that Obi- Wan was cold and uncaring and unusually stern. But there was more to him than that. He had seen flickers of mischief and humor and also despair and heartache in his eyes throughout the years. But they were nothing more than brief slips that were gone so fast he was unsure if he even felt them. His Master was always eerily good at shielding. Sometimes he could barely feel that the man existed and it bothered him more than he would ever admit because somewhere deep inside he knew that his Master was suffering. He knew this and yet he did not know why Obi-Wan was in such pain. So he ignored the spike of pain that he would feel the few times he caught his Master unguarded. He pretended nothing was wrong because while he knew in the back of his mind that his Master was suffering, he also instinctively knew that there was nothing he could do to ease it.  
  
"He was my hero, still is in a way. He helped me when no one else would. He was warm and open and he truly cared about me and my mom. I've grown to respect you Master, but you never opened yourself to me like he did. I thought it was because you hated me, but I grew to realize that you couldn't hate, it just isn't in you. I don't know much about you Master, but I know that much."  
  
"I know that I haven't been open with you Anakin. I know you think that I'm a boring, stogy old man, but I was young once and I was mischievous and temperamental and overzealous and..." Obi-Wan searched his mind for another adjective to describe his youthful self.  
  
"Happy," Anakin said softly.  
  
"Yes," Obi-Wan looked down, unable to meet his Padawan's prying eyes. "I was happy." They were silent for a minute each contemplating the implications of that statement on their current situation.  
  
"Well...Anakin why don't you pick up in here. I'll be right back."  
  
Anakin nodded his head and watched as his Master left the living area and went into his bedroom. He glanced at the door to their quarters and thought about escaping and running away from this whole conversation, but quickly dismissed the idea. He always wanted to learn more about his Master, and this may be the only chance he will ever get. So he began to pick up the cups and brought them into the kitchen.

* * *

Anakin was sitting on the sofa with his eyes closed and his head leaning against the back of the sofa when Obi-Wan walked into the room. He sat down and placed a small wooden box and a holo-projector on the sofa in between them. Anakin opened his eyes and glanced at the objects.  
  
"What are those?"  
  
"There's a reason I'm telling you all this Anakin. For one, I've been too closed off to you and I'm afraid it has had a bad effect on our relationship and your training. I think its time you learn who I am and who Qui-Gon really was. Also you need to know, to truly understand the sacrifice needed to put duty before love and I don't know how else to explain it to you than to tell you about me and Qui-Gon."  
  
Obi-Wan picked up the holo-projector and turned it on. He handed it to Anakin and a picture of a young boy about thirteen years of age appeared. He had reddish blonde spiky hair and a short braid behind his ear. He was smiling broadly and looking up adoringly and a younger version of Qui-Gon.  
  
"I had only been his Padawan for a few months, the hero-worship hadn't quite worn off," Obi-Wan smiled slightly as he examined the trusting look on the face of his younger self.  
  
Anakin looked through the rest of the pictures slowly and carefully. He asked his Master questions about each picture, trying to glean as much information as possible about Obi-Wan's past from the still images. He stopped on one image and was simply transfixed. Obi-Wan looked to be in his early twenties in the picture. He was shirtless and sitting on a blanket on a sandy beach. His hand was raised and he was caught in the motion of feeding a piece of fruit to Qui-Gon, who sat beside him on the blanket. Obi-Wan's smile was mischievous and his eyes held a blatant gleam of seduction. They looked beautiful and hopelessly in love.  
  
"We were on a vacation. One of our local friends from the village we were staying at snuck the picture." Obi-Wan smiled. "We had only been together about a month when this picture was taken."  
  
Anakin nodded, but he was unable to tear his eyes away from the picture. He never knew that Obi-Wan could look so happy, so content.  
  
"That's the last one I think," Obi-Wan took the projector out of his Padawan's hands and put it on the table next to the sofa. He picked up the wooden box he brought and opened it. He picked up a small shell from the box. It was pearly white and the underneath of it was a shining purple color.  
  
"Qui-Gon picked this up on the beach we were on in that last picture. He gathered them every morning and decorated our beach house with them. I picked up this one before we left." Obi-Wan smiled at the memory. There were several other things in the box and he explained the significance of each one and answered any questions Anakin had. He was about to close the box when Anakin noticed a gleam of red in the corner. He picked it up and it was a small bead.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"It was a bead for my braid. Qui-Gon gave it to me." Obi-Wan tried to keep it simple but he could tell that Anakin was not ready to give up.  
  
"I know that Master. All of these things are memories of something. What's this one?" Anakin eye's sparked with curiosity.  
  
"Well, umm...He gave it to me the day after our...I mean after the first time we made love," Obi-Wan blushed deeply and plucked the bead out of Anakin's hand. He stared at it thoughtfully. "I think he wanted to mark me somehow. He was quite...possessive at times. But mostly he wanted me to always remember my first time."  
  
"He was your first Master?"  
  
"My first and my last Padawan, there will be no other."  
  
"Surely you don't intend to remain celibate and alone for the rest of your life Master," Anakin was shocked to hear his Master condemn himself to such an existence.  
  
"I don't really have a choice Anakin."  
  
"You always have a choice Master. Surely it would not hurt to try and have a relationship, to be happy."  
  
"You don't understand Padawan. It would never work. It would just cause pain in the end."  
  
"But Master..."  
  
Obi-Wan sighed wearily and held out a hand to stop his Padawan's next protest. He put the bead back into the box. He placed the box back on the table and turned back to face his Padawan.  
  
"I can't ever have a relationship with another person because I would have nothing to offer them. A part of me died with him Anakin." Obi-Wan turned and looked at the closed box. A tear slipped down his cheek despite his best efforts to control his emotions. "We had the beginnings of a soul bond. We had planned to complete it formally after I was knighted."  
  
Anakin moved closer to his Master and put his arm around him. They sat still in the silence of their quarters and mourned the life and the possibilities that were taken away from them all those years ago.  
  
TBC 


End file.
